Economists

I read Malcolm Berko's column the other day in our local newspaper:

Dear Mr. Berko: Can you explain in simple English who Joseph Schumpeter was and what this economist was talking about when he wrote about the industrial collapses and changes in employment and production?

What do you think of economists, especially Schumpeter, who many people seem to be quoting?

E.L., Waukegan, Ill.

Dear E.L.: I don’t like economists, who are some of the most useless people on the planet.

The economists I know are cross-dressers, drive Volvos, tend to be anti-social, their shoes squeak even when standing till, their cologne smells like Juicy Fruit, and they have the emotional range of Formica.

Former Federal Reserve Bank Chairman Alan Greenspan, whose hobby is teaching cats to swim underwater, is a perfect example. As I’ve been telling audiences since 1998, "He ain’t the crispiest Dorito in the bag.”

I laughed out loud.

Also had to look up Joseph Schumpeter on Wikipedia to read who he was and what he though. However, I resisted the urge to buy any books.